


Blame it on Love

by inabodycastofglass



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Angry Guy, F/M, Luke comes back, Mentions of Asch, Pining Guy, Post-Game, Secret Santa, Years long story, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 03:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9054337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inabodycastofglass/pseuds/inabodycastofglass
Summary: Guy was never very good with feelings.For Secret Santa 2016.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ProPinkist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProPinkist/gifts).



> This is for kites-guardian-angel on tumblr! Happy Christmas!

Natalia was beautiful in a way that defied expectations.

In the past, when Guy was only a servant, he’d seen her at her worst. He knew about the rumours she worked to sustain, that she was some type of flawless goddess, that the world just came easily to her, that she never had to try. It was laughable, really. He actually laughed once.

He’d seen her first thing in the morning, when her hair was a knotted mess and she had bags under her eyes and her voice was pitched low and gravelly. Fraud, he would think in these moments. But even then there would be a small tingle in the back of his skull saying that he was reaching.

She worked hard for her beauty. Even when he looked at it as vanity he knew that. And it wasn’t just her beauty. Every aspect of her was learnt and refined. Fake, she used to be. Everything about her could be twisted into something awful. And it was so satisfying to an angry boy.

He was ashamed of that later, of not seeing her for who she was. Once he was an adult, less self absorbed, he saw how she shined, how the vanity he once criticized was an intense determination. And he could understand how he’d lied to himself for so long.

* * *

When he was seventeen he waited on her while she visited the manor. Or, more specifically, kept her away from Luke. Mostly it involved following her around while she stormed the manor looking for him and being yelled at when Natalia needed somewhere to direct her anger.

It was infuriating. He never came closer to losing it and blowing his cover than when he was with her.

It was after she left that he heard two of the maids talking about how great it was when she visited.

“You’re kidding, right?”

One of the maids giggled. “You’re biased.”

“But she’s bossy and rude.”

“Of course she’s bossy. She’s our boss.”

It shut him up for a moment. He couldn’t argue that his sister would never treat their servants that way. “But she’s horrible.”

The other maid rolled her eyes. “You put up with Master Luke, don’t you?”

This did give him pause, because, yes, Luke was objectively  worse than Natalia, but he had reason to be. He’d been through hell. Natalia had just never learnt to treat people with compassion.

The argument and his refusal to consider their point of view had cause a rift between him and the other servants that was never really mended. But he didn’t care. Friendship wasn’t something he needed. He had things to do.

* * *

But then, a year later, his anger had begun to fade. After Luke’s simple, unintentional bit of philosophy, he lost the blind hatred that allowed him to detest Natalia without ever really considering why.

It was when he was nineteen, serving her tea in the drawing room, that she gave him a precarious look, watching him over the top of her cup.

“Is something wrong, princess?”

She set the cup down before speaking, thinking through her words. “No. You just seem different.”

He wasn’t sure how to respond. Then, Lady Fabre came in, and any opportunity he had died, and he found he was a little disappointed.

* * *

It was the winter when he was twenty that he was on his third trip of deliveries to the homeless shelter, carrying a box of various foods from the Fabre manor, which he saw Natalia, dressed in plain clothes that he was sure weren’t hers.

She was passing out blankets and serving hot drinks to the people staying there like it was her job. Occasionally she would stop and chat for a moment or two with someone before getting back to work.

“That’s Natalie.” Emma, the woman who ran the shelter, stood a few feet from him, writing something on a clipboard. “She’s new this year. A bit of a klutz, but a hard worker, and she’s good with people.”

He furrowed his brows, looking back to Natalia. “Natalie?”

“Yes. She’s an apprentice adviser at the castle. I’m surprised you haven’t met her before.” She waved her hand and someone took the crate she was inspecting away. “She’s been here every day for a week.”

Guy watched her for a moment. She was clearly out of her element, which was intellectual problem solving. But that could be explained by her being an adviser, which was a sneakier story than he’d thought her capable of. She was physically graceful, as always. But she struggled to do menial tasks, getting flustered when her attention was pulled in more than two directions, or when she had to switch tasks on a gald.

But, while she was obviously frustrated with her own inability to perform better, she was gracious to the criticism she received on her performance as a laborer. It was a poise he’d never seen from her. And, though he knew she wasn’t a bad person anymore, he’d never realised she was quite so good. Yet there was a still a part of him that that struggled with that.

She noticed mid-stride in their direction that he was there, watching her, and froze. She held his gaze, eyes wide. And he realised she thought he was going to rat her out, which wasn’t something he’d even considered.

And then he realised just how far he’d come in the last two years. Before he would have reveled in holding this over her head. But now he simply didn’t care.

No, that was wrong. He was impressed. He’d reached a point with Natalia of all people were he could be impressed with her. And, while he was still a servant in Kimlasca, it was probably the best he’d felt in years.

That, more than his intention to assure her of his silence, made him smile.

She let out a breath, her shoulders relaxing and smiled back, and immediately she returned to work.

For a moment he found it hard to breathe, his eyes trailing after her, down the curve of her back.

Oh.

Oh no.

No.

He looked away, his face red. No no no. This couldn’t be happening, not with Princess Natalia.

Not with a woman who was engaged to his best friend, who was the crown princess of the kingdom that had killed his family and taken his title.

Not with Natalia of all people.

But he was. As his eyes landed on her nape, just too long hair splitting to fall over her shoulders as she leant over to load her trey up with drinks, he knew he was falling for Natalia, and there was no way to stop it.

* * *

It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that Guy had an obsessive personality. He never did anything half way; his revenge, fon tech, and no, apparently, his being half in love with Natalia.

And, honestly, he couldn’t understand how no one had figured it out. Even as he did everything he could to hide it, he thought he was pretty obvious, with the way he doted on her whenever she was around. Perhaps it just seemed the obvious thing for a servant to do. Perhaps Natalia just expected everyone to admire her. And, while the logical part of Guy’s brain still found that ridiculous, the emotional part had done a one-eighty and fully believed that was exactly how things should be.

He could shove aside the nauseating pain that came with her being in love with Luke with the knowledge that he wasn’t interested.

But then there came Asch, and, for the first time, he saw real heartbreak on her face. And it hurt a thousand times worse than his own ever had.

And it was in that moment that he decided he would get over his gynophobia, so he could be there for her, since, right then, he felt completely useless.

So, when Asch died, Guy felt an uncomfortable mix of horror and relief. He hated seeing Natalia in pain more than anything.

But he also looked at her and thought, “finally”. Finally she could be free. Finally she could move on. Finally she could give up on this thing that was doomed from the start, that had ended almost eight years ago. Finally.

So, when things were said and done, and they’d all gone their separate ways, Guy came back to Baticul Castle, and he held her, with his body violently shaking, and his breathing heavy. He held her because he knew what it felt like to lose so much, and to have to pretend to be fine, to hold his head up high and just move on when it felt like he couldn’t breathe. He held her so she could feel safe to cry, so she wasn’t alone.

He held her because she’d lost her true love and her oldest friend in a single night.

* * *

It was hard to see Natalia after that. Their entire lives had changed. There was no score, Natalia was an official adult, Guy was receiving more and more responsibilities, and time just continued to pass the way time did, making things more difficult to begin again. Eventually they even stopped exchanging letters.

In all but the most explicit meaning, their relationship was over.

The next time they saw each other was at Luke’s coming of age, after the others had come looking for them.

Last time he’d comforted her. But this time he could barely manage to look at her, at anyone.

He missed Luke, so much. There had been a hole inside him that shouldn’t be there. Because Luke was coming back, Guy knew he was, even if the others had given up.

So, when he did, only minutes later, it was like something inside of Guy broke, and he cried for the first time since he was a child and Hod had fallen around him. He fell to his knees and cried, fists pressed to his eyes, jaw clenched, chest heaving, inhumane sobs tearing out of him, sounds he’d never heard before.

A hand was on his back, though he barely felt it. It was lost in his breaking, in the way he was being ripped apart from the inside.

* * *

He woke up to someone playing with his hair. He was shivering and stiff, and his eyes and head hurt.

“Good morning.”

He blinked so he could see Natalia. “What are you doing here?” He sat up, groaning when his hand tried to stay on her lap.

“I let the others go on ahead.” She put a hand on his back, keeping him up.

“You didn’t want to stay with Luke?”

She looked down. “Honestly? No. I’d rather not just yet.”

He hummed. “Yeah. I guess it’s a bit weird.” He leant against her side. “He’s been gone two years, and now, suddenly, he’s just back? I mean, I knew he would be, but still.”

She sighed. “It’s absolutely ridiculous, because he’s back. It’s the best possible outcome. But I…” She looked up at the sky, and Guy followed her gaze. “I was moving on. My life was getting back to normal, and now the hole has been reopened.” She took a shuddering breath. “I hate myself for feeling this way. I wish I could just be happy he’s back. And I do, but I also feel this horrid disappointment.”

“Hey, Natalia. Come back to Grand Chokmah with me.”

He turned to look at her. “For a visit. Until you’re ready to see Luke again. We can find some sort of business for you so it’s not a waste of time, and Emperor Peony has been saying that he should invite you for a while now.”

She thought it over for a moment, and Guy’s heart pounded rapidly in anticipation. Finally she gave him a weak smile. “All right, I accept.”

“Great!”

He blushed, clearing his throat, and making Natalia laugh.

* * *

Natalia had intended to talk to Luke herself about her leaving, but Guy took her shaking hand in his, and insisted on doing it for her.

“You only need to focus on getting ready. That’s difficult enough.”

So, through no one’s fault but his own, he had to be the one to see Luke’s face as he received confirmation that one of his oldest friends didn’t want to see him after returning from the dead.

It was a tense, painful moment, but Luke took the news with a maturity that blew Guy away.

“I understand. She must have been upset that it was me that came back instead of Asch.”

Guy sat back. “I think she would have been hurt no matter who came back. She loves you both, you know.”

Luke sighed. “Yeah.”

“Hey, no more feeling sorry for yourself. Or had that changed since you’ve been dead?”

It took a moment, but Luke smiled. “You’re right. I need to trust her.” He took a deep breath. “Thanks, Guy.”

A moment of silence passed between them.

Luke sat up straight. “Speaking of Natalia.”

Guy looked over at him, feeling uneasy at his forced casual tone.

“Are you two together?”

Guy choked on air and spit. “What?”

“It’s okay. I’m not seventeen anymore. I understand.” Yet he was blushing.

Guy cleared his throat, trying to cool down his face. He felt like a woman had tackled him to the ground, his head buzzing. “We’re not.”

“Oh.” Luke sat back, blowing his bangs from his eyes. “That’s unfortunate.”

Guy laughed. “Yeah, okay. How about you focus on your own love life instead of mine.”

He watched Luke fight off a blush and a smile. Two-and-a-half years ago he couldn’t have made such an innocent expression. It made Guy feel a little bit like a proud big brother. He clapped Luke on the shoulder. “Talk to me.”

Luke huffed. “Fine, but don’t think we’re done with you and Natalia."

“Yeah, yeah.” He hadn’t expected to divert Luke’s attention long, anyway. “All right.” He put an around around Luke’s shoulders. “Spill. I wanna hear about last night.”

* * *

As it turned out, Emperor Peony could find a lot for Natalia to do. Meaning mostly balls, resort trips, and lots of visits to different Malkuth cities and towns.

While Guy wasn’t the biggest fan of frequent traveling, he withstood it since Natalia seemed to be enjoying herself so much, and he liked seeing her happy (and in her bathing suit, as Peony was so apt at pointing out). The months seemed to fly right by.

Keterburg was their lucky spot on this visit, however. The two of them were at the inn, bundling up in front of the fire with blankets and hot cocoa, sharing stupid stories while Emperor Peony was off visiting Nephry.

Natalia was telling a story of when she first started going to counsel meeting when she was twelve (Guy could hardly handle them at twenty-four), and she nearly got into a screaming match with one of the now retired men over how much to raise taxes (“A country should only raise taxes when absolutely necessary, such as in times of war or when dealing with disasters in other areas, if possible”), and Guy was spending more of his attention on watching her talk than what she was saying.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He knew exactly what expression he had; stupid smile, eyes watching the movement of her lips. He was leaning on the back of the couch, his hand curled just under his ear. But he couldn’t stop. “Like what?”

She smirked, her cheeks pink from the heat of the fire. She pulled her legs up onto the couch, turning to mirror him. Their knees touched, shooting a thrill through him. “Like you’re in love with me.”

His breath hitched, his smile gone. For a very long moment he held her gaze, trying to think anything aside from, “she knows”.

“Guy?”

“Yes?” His voice cracked like a pubescent boy.

She leant into him slowly. “I love you, too.”

He took a long, shaking breath. “You do?”

She nodded, her face red from more than the cold. “Yes. I do.”

Slowly, so very slowly, he reached his trembling hands out to cup her face. And, just as slowly, he leant forward, watching her close her eyes before he closed his own.

Then he kissed her, tentatively, while she waited for him. Then, when he pulled back to breathe, and moved in again, she kissed him back.

It was odd to be having his first kiss at twenty-four, but he was glad, for once, that it was. Because it was with Natalia. It was powerful, shocking, terrifying in the best and worst ways. And, even though it was slow and experimental, he felt the familiar panic and pulled away, hands still on Natalia’s, looking into her eyes.

She blinked, biting her lip. “Yes?”

Guy nodded, trying to find the air to breathe. “Yes.” Sweet Yulia, yes.

She let out a breathy laugh. “Oh. Good. I’d thought that you would change your mind after you’re curiosity was satisfied.”

He kissed her again, feeling emboldened by the nervousness in her voice. “I could never.” He felt her shiver, and he decided that it was because of him.

With another rush of boldness, he pulled back, and, with a determination that made his head light, looked her directly in the eye. “Marry me?”

She laughed at that, winding him, and put a hand on his chest. “One step at a time.”

He nodded, even though he wasn’t really understanding her. “Is that a no?”

She pulled back, laughing with a hand to her lips. When she calmed, she looked at him, wiping away the tears at the corners of her eyes. “Ask again in a few months.”

“So…” He was having trouble focusing. “Not a no?”

She touched his jaw with her fingers. “Not a no, but not a yes, either.”

He let out a breath, his entire body relaxing. “That’s okay. I can live with that.”

“Good.” She kissed him again.

* * *

When Emperor Peony got back, he sat between them, heaving a great sigh. “Well, that was disappointing. I thought for sure she would run away with me this time.” He put his head on Guy’s shoulder. “At least we’ll be eternal bachelors together.”

Natalia laughed so hard she had to excuse herself.


End file.
